How to screw up your child’s schooling: Simply follow our tongue-in-cheek guide

…some seasonal fun from activematters!

Make sure that your baby understands from the beginning that learning is work, not fun. Demonstrate – repeatedly – that shape-posting and block-building must always be done right. Introduce early reading and counting with plenty of over-intensity and visible impatience. Practise your insincere “teaching” voices – phony and high-pitched for encouragement, tense and bitten-down for “Why-the-heck-can’t-you-get-it?” Issue lots of instructions, leaving no time for playing, listening, laughing and running around outside.